Every Student, Response to "Gay, Lesbian, God's Love"

Time to head back to the safe space!  This is gonna be a fun one.

The message many gays and lesbians hear is that God hates you. See why this is not true.

Well, it's a reasonably clear message in the bible, but please continue!  I'm sure this won't be offensive at all.  Disclaimer: I'm only tearing apart some of it for now.  Please read the full thing for the whole context.

Life often demands certain qualifications. To get a driver's license, you have to pass a test. To land a certain job, you must show that you have the credentials deserving of that job.

Cool.  What has this to do with the point?  I thought you were going to tell us we don't need qualifications.  Full disclosure: I'm asexual.  I simply don't find anyone attractive like that.

Unlike anything else you have encountered, a relationship with God does not begin with you filling in the blank, "Accept me because..."

Really?  Go tell that to the folks who say that if you don't accept Jesus, you'll go to hell.  Maybe that's not the kind of thing you meant?

It starts with God saying, "I accept you." "I welcome you."

Well then let him get on with it already.

Whether you are gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered or have questions,

Questions are good! Unless you're questioning whether or not your god exists, right?

God is not our enemy.

"Ours" does indeed imply we, and since he's not an enemy to you, you're technically correct.  He's not our enemy, he is mine.  Something like that.

If you have not already begun one, God wants a relationship with you.

If he wants it, he can call first.  I'm not desperate.

He offers this to anyone and everyone.

Well, according to you.

In Scripture, you'll see only one group that consistently angered Jesus...the religious self-righteous.

"Oh yeah, Jesus will totally take you because I say so.  I think my ideas are right and just, and so should you! Those self-righteous people are just wrong, because I'm clearly right..."

Jesus seemed comfortable around everyone else, including prostitutes and criminals. However, the religious elite irritated and saddened Jesus. He saw them as judgmental, arrogant, unloving, and hypocritical.

Yeah, it's not elitist at all to say that it's easier for the camel to thread a needle than for a rich man to enter heaven.  There's absolutely no elitism in calling fruitless people useless like a dead fig tree.  There was absolutely nothing elitist about sitting at the right hand of god.  I mean, everyone makes that claim, right?

You might see those words and immediately think of religious people who have been hurtful, rude or judgmental toward you. Does that represent Jesus' heart? No.

Yeah, Luke 19:27 never really happened, right guys?

Jesus said to love your neighbor as yourself. How would hurtful comments fit into that? Not very well.

Maybe I'm into BDSM.  I wonder if you discuss that...  Back in a second.

Nope. Not directly anyway.

Have you ever had a chance to seriously consider Jesus?

Have you?  It certainly sounds like you haven't considered him very hard.

Unlike any other person who has ever lived, Jesus can explain life to you...how to experience life, more abundantly. He is the Creator of all that exists, yet became a man, so that we could know him, know God.

 Well, then hopefully he'll make that first call I mentioned and we can chat!

"Grace" isn't a word we use much.

Why do non-hetero non-cis people, as a class, need grace again?

I used to wonder what it takes to be accepted by God. Perhaps you'll be as amazed as I was. Here it is:

Then he puts John 3:16.  If I didn't know better, I'd say it was a younger, hipper, almost pleasant Jack Chick.  Almost.

Did you catch it? "Whoever believes in him." Whoever believes in him has eternal life.

Cool!  Unless, you know, your religion is wrong.

The next couple paragraphs are waffle.  Then there's this gem.

He offered proof. Jesus had already done what no human could do, instantly healing those who were blind, couldn't walk, or who struggled with diseases.

That's right, Jesus will fu... fix the gay right out of you.  Or something.  Is it really a disability if a man likes penises?

Yet Jesus went far beyond that. He said, on numerous occasions, that he would be arrested, beaten, and crucified...and three days later rise from the dead.

No.  That's someone making up a story.  Hundreds of years after the alleged events.  It's exactly as if I said, right now, that JFK told me he predicted his own death.  Jesus is further removed from the four gospels than I am from JFK.

You can go through this life knowing you are loved by God.

You mean, god loves us, but not unconditionally?  How interesting.

Everyone hungers to be loved.

No, not everyone.  I'm quite content just having some good friends.  It works for me.

Human love is important.

-some human

Yet every person who loves you, loves you imperfectly, because people are imperfect.
But God is able to love you perfectly. He loves us because it is his nature to love, and it never changes, never stops.

So we weren't created in his image.  Also interesting.

We all mess up. We all fail to live up to our own standards, let alone God's standards. But God doesn't accept us based on our performance.

Since the context is specifically homosexuality, I'm going to presume that you are discussing it thus.

Homosexuality isn't a mistake, it's just a natural biological process.

Do you see how self-defeating your own argument is?

"Jesus will love you, but you're a miserable fuck-up"

Would that kind of message convert you to another religion?

The more important the relationship, the greater impact it has.
So, it makes sense that knowing God is going to be a significant relationship.

If it's so significant, why can't he initiate it?  If I actually have free will not to believe in him, why won't he just show himself?

He will lead your life according to his love and his desires for your life.

I presume that means that you think homosexuals aren't living the right way.  Your message is really confusing.

So there's no special requirements, you don't need to fill in the blank part of "accept me because..."  However, if you want to be accepted, you must fill it in.

You still make decisions. You maintain your free will. He does not take over your life, forcing you to act as he wants.

Now you're just being facetious.

A couple of months after asking Jesus into my life, my closest friend asked me, "Have you noticed a change in your life?" And I said, "What do you mean?" She said, "Lately I can share things with you and you don't make jokes. You seem to be really listening to me."
I was kind of embarrassed. I mean, here's my closest friend telling me that I was finally acting like a decent human being and listening to her!

Now you're telling me the only reason you're not a complete asshole is because you fear hellfire?

Interesting indeed.

And I guess my emotional need for love was met by God on such a deep level, that I became more of an emotionally secure person. 

It sounds as though you would simply have accepted any comforting myth, though.  That's a dangerous mentality, and there are people who can help you come to terms with it.  Living your life in constant fear of hellfire just because you find other women attractive isn't a healthy thing.  At least, I thought that sexuality was the context here.

Jesus promises us that as we let him teach us and guide us, he says, "you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free."

As though liking other people is something you should want to be set free from.

Most of Jesus' disciples (and many of Jesus' followers today) have gone through tremendous suffering. For example, Paul was frequently arrested, beaten with rods and whipped, countless times. Once he was nearly stoned to death by an angry mob. He was shipwrecked several times, many days without food, and fleeing for his life, often.
Clearly, Jesus' followers didn't live easy lives. Yet Paul, and other believers, remained unshakeably convinced of God's love for them.

You do realize you're preaching to homosexuals, not to the (mentally or physically) infirm, right?

You don't plan your course. If you are gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered, or questioning your sexuality...if you will let him, Jesus will guide your life. And it's greater than what you could imagine. Jesus said, "I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will not walk in darkness, but will have the light of life."

I thought you said your bigotry was subsiding.  You said earlier god has no problem with homosexuality, so why are you acting like people need to change from the darkness and stuff?

Here's how you can begin a relationship with God, right now.
Whatever you've done in your life, Jesus offers you his complete forgiveness. Our sin wasn't merely overlooked.

 Sexuality isn't sinful because sin doesn't exist.

He says that THIS is the relationship that satisfies us. We never were meant to go through this life without him.

Jesus sounds like a clingy boyfriend or something.

You can talk to him using whatever words you want. 

Is that really the best way to end this?  I mean, I can think of a lot of words you'd probably not like me to use, either alone or in combinations.

"Dear Jesus who doesn't exist, come into this poor misguided soul's life, and show her that sexuality isn't something to be ashamed of!"

As always, this has been Rev. J.R., signing off.