Hello brothers and sisters, let us rejoice, for today we have started the Church of the Atheist Christians.
I can hear your questions now. "How can you do this thing!?"
Well, it's easy, my fellow non-believers.
Much like most major sects of Christianity today, we don't believe that you need to perform ritualistic animal sacrifice to cleanse your body or grounds.
In the same way that Catholics don't believe it's necessary to avoid mixed fibers, neither do we. You go ahead and be you, and wear that leather jacket with those denim pants.
Much like the Unitarians, we too do not believe that the trinity exists. Similarly, much like most trinitarians, we also don't believe in a unitarian Jesus. We don't believe that Jesus was the son of god, nor that he was god incarnate.
As you'll soon come to see, we're a lot like most liberal churches, in that we don't believe a person needs to be baptized, for any reason! We also have no qualms, like some more conservative sects, with letting women speak freely in public.
Similarly, we're also kinda conservative. We don't believe that you have to give us money, even though Jesus instructs us to tithe and be poor. We know the value of a hard-earned dollar, and if you want to send it to us in the name of Jesus, we'll gladly put it to good use!
In fact, the more we think about it, every belief we officially hold is endorsed fully by at least one denomination! You can rest assured that yours is included.
So what are you waiting for? Go ahead and make the switch today!
You don't have to believe in Jesus, and you can be a Christian nonetheless!